Undressing for Christmas…

I’d like to think about this blog as undressed…naked. Sometimes I overrate myself though and realize I haven’t managed more than stripping down to my lingerie. But as most people on a daily basis don’t get that far with me you can consider yourself blessed, or mortified. It’s the naked truth, whether it makes you giggle with delight, or run for cover.

I was asking on Facebook what people want for Christmas, given I wrote a naughty letter to Santa some years back on here and it’s still getting a lot of traffic from Google. Someone wanted less problems, whereas I would prefer better problems. Like figuring out how to undress a man in fifty different ways. Now hello Christmas gift!

Speaking of Christmas gifts…do you always give yourself the gift of a life you love? When I came to South Africa I was really, really stressed as I knew I had to be out of the guesthouse I was staying at within a week, I had seen one post in two weeks on Gumtree for rooms to rent in Hout Bay and I had my things stolen. Plus, PLUS I didn’t have a car and so I couldn’t even get to the places if there were any to see without taking a cab or begging people for rides. I happen to be Miss Independent and felt lost in space not knowing my way around and being able to go where I wanted to go and lead my life sort of thing. So when someone posted a room on Gumtree I immediately went to see it. I had a feeling I would never like it there, although it was a massive, lovely house, great garden and so on, but it just wasn’t me and the owner smoked and kept smelly dog food in the kitchen. Everyone else told me it was a catch though and I said yes.

This weekend I went with a friend to do a four-hour Kundalini yoga class just up the road from where I am. I cannot describe this place to you. It was paradise. And I felt at peace. Something I did not do at home. This place was “so me” whereas home was “so not me.” So I thought I better find a new place.

There had been a new ad on Gumtree for a couple of days for another room, but it was more expensive than I wanted to pay. However, came Monday morning I had a fit about the dog food and decided to call the guy and go see the place.

Before I came to Cape Town I did an intuitive exercise to find my “Land of Plenty” in it I saw myself living in the hills outside of Cape Town in a natural home. When I went to see this place I was rather shocked because it was a natural home in the hills outside of Cape Town. Now, it’s not exactly what I saw in my mind’s eye, because that was a hobbit house and another one next to it, but this place rang true to me. It is part of something I love, something which resonates with me. I’m a tad scared of getting allergic to the dogs, but the house itself is like a dream. My dream.

I don’t know about you, but sometimes I do make these hasty decisions…I go with things that are alright, but feels wrong because I feel internal stress about something. I want to live a life I love – I want to be comfortable in my own skin and then I have to start choosing what resonates with me. I have to follow my heart to create a life I love.

Unwrap your heart, unwrap the boys and girls that you love (or THE one boy, or girl you love) and follow your heart to where it takes you…

P.S. Please Santa. Seriously. I’ve been a very good girl. Very, very good. Can you send someone for me to unwrap? Pretty please.

santababy-fanfueled

 

 

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My naked shots – thoughts about my body…

Yep, we all know they ended up on Facebook a little while back and some are still there. The ones I approved. I will probably always remember when I saw the photos and started shaking. And that’s the moment when Miss Liberal and I Love My Body realized that Facebook is not the same as a pool party. I felt exposed.

Feeling exposed was weird, because I also felt that really I should just feel pride. Hey, it’s my body. It’s a temple you know and I do my best to honor it by pumping it full of delicious foods, as well as exercising and covering myself in potions and lotions. We don’t live in a society where walking around naked is normal though, but rather seen as a gift you give to those few privileged enough to know you well enough to know you without your knickers on. So the sense of exposure I guess is quite normal, as you don’t necessarily want say stalkers to check you out in the nude.

I was looking at myself in the mirror this morning as I was improvising to some music and I have a dancer’s body – I’m skin, muscle and bones. Just a tad of flesh on my behind. That’s about it.

Now everywhere I go I get to hear “Oh, you are so small.” “You look like a straight line.” And as it’s not taboo to mock skinny people I believe I’ve heard most of the unsuitable jokes there are about it. Then, of course on Facebook all you see is “Women should have curves” campaigns.

Most times I’m utterly proud over my body, which I look after and love, but that doesn’t mean I don’t find it offensive when all my friends post images of curvy women saying that’s the way a woman should be, because that means, in their minds, my body is not the way a woman’s body should be.

I’m lucky because I have been chased by enough men to know my body, or my personality, or the two combined, is attractive to them, but what about the teenagers out there, what about the kids, what message are you sending to them by saying women should have curves? Get implants in your breasts, ass and hips?

Curves are beautiful and I get jealous when I see these posts, because I know that I will never have them, unless potentially when I am pregnant, in which case I intend to wear the most unsuitable looking dresses I can lay my hands on…if you’ve got it, flaunt it and all that. But I also think my skinny legs and flat tummy are beautiful. I think my shiny personality and my smile are extraordinary.

When I do portraits, or I draw a body, as I see it my job is to bring out the beauty, to capture the personality…people aren’t moulds, but individuals and in that lies the beauty. In what makes you unique. And when you find that uniqueness inside of you, i.e. you find what makes your heart sing and follow that heart of yours, you will find what resonates with it. You will be a living expression of your heart, which is the most beautiful thing because you will feel one with yourself and your surroundings. I doubt, however, that the media will mention this in their take on feminine beauty.

In a society where being naked makes you feel exposed, maybe, just maybe it’s a good idea to say that your true natural beauty and your heart are divine gifts. To suggest that living in harmony with your heart will make you find your harmony with your body (and hence love it) and connect with those who love both your heart and body.

As artists we bring out the beauty of things. I suggest that instead of looking to others for beauty, we bring out our own. Being a woman is sacred, as is being a man. Cherish that.

 

 

 

 

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